The Addition of Secondary Narratives

Supernatural Horror: Authors and Themes

THE ADDITION OF SECONDARY NARRATIVES:
a look at the textual differences between Fritz Leiber's
"The Pale Brown Thing" and Our Lady of Darkness

In Witches of the Mind, his so-far definitive study of Fritz Leiber and his work, Bruce Byfield correctly devotes a fair amount of space to a discussion of Leiber's late novel Our Lady of Darkness (1977). But Byfield also mentions, in more than passing, Leiber's thoughts about the novel's earlier version, the novella "The Pale Brown Thing," which had appeared as a two-part serial in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction at the beginning of 1977 (1).

Byfield describes the book publication of Our Lady of Darkness as being expanded from "The Pale Brown Thing" by the ‘addition of secondary narratives’ (2). But a little later Byfield also more interestingly quotes Leiber as saying that the two stories should really be regarded as one: '...the two texts should be regarded as the same story told at different times. If Franz's story is longer in Our Lady of Darkness, the reason is that he recalls more the second time he tells it' (3).

Thus "The Pale Brown Thing" is the protagonist Franz Westen telling the story for the first time, and the longer version, Our Lady of Darkness, is the story as told again later, expanded and amplified, with the addition of 'secondary' matter, and recollections.

These expansions and additions do generally work in this way. There are lengthened and amplified descriptions. The main characters are treated in more depth, with more attention given to their backgrounds and incidents to which they have contributed. The narrator also considers his life in more depth, integrating more nuggets of detail into the narrative, together with reflections on his friends, and on the unfolding events in the 'occult thriller' that Westen unwittingly finds himself involved in, and, ultimately, barely escapes from (4).

So, then, I would agree with Leiber's insight that "The Pale Brown Thing" and Our Lady of Darkness are best regarded as being two versions of the same story. It is the best way to regard the two versions as being recollections of one sequence of events, told at two different times. (Not unlike how the three Synoptic Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, and Luke -- recount one basic story, in three ways from three viewpoints, for different audiences.)

So Our Lady of Darkness is "The Pale Brown Thing" with the addition of 'secondary' narratives. But these are not secondary in the sense of being second-rate or less important. They are, however, secondary in the sense that they are recollected and told later rather than sooner.

The events recalled first are not always the most important, and later additions can have the effect of adding depth and understanding to the earlier version of the narrative. The later version may well represent, possibly, the 'preferred' version, in that the addition of later memories and impressions contribute to, and complete, what it is that needs to be recalled and put across.

But "The Pale Brown Thing" is a viable and complete story in its own right, worth knowing in addition to its longer version in Our Lady of Darkness. I have no idea whether or not Leiber did actually write "The Pale Brown Thing" first, and literally expanded it for subsequent book publication. I am inclined to think that he did, as the additions can be seen to be so obviously that (although this doesn't mean that they are!)

I have listed the additions to "The Pale Brown Thing", and how they dovetail into Our Lady of Darkness. It can be seen that, like a carefully built structure, "The Pale Brown Thing" has been partially dismantled, as it were, and new sections, of greater or shorter length, skilfully inserted, leaving a new and integral whole.

Both versions exist on their own terms, and the continued existence of the two versions is to be preferred. They both leave the presumably now complete body of Fritz Leiber's work enriched.

NOTES

1) Out of 58 pages of text discussing Leiber's life and work, Byfield devotes 4 pages to Our Lady of Darkness

2) Witches of the Mind p 63

3) Witches of the Mind p 63

4) Part of the descriptive blurb to the first part of the serialisation of "The Pale Brown Thing", The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, January 1977, p 6

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Byfield, Bruce Witches of the Mind: a Critical Study of Fritz Leiber Necronomicon Press 1991

Leiber, Fritz "The Pale Brown Thing" The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction January and February 1977

Leiber, Fritz Our Lady of Darkness Millington Books 1978

THE ADDITIONS TO "THE PALE BROWN THING"

Page numbers referred to first are those for Our Lady of Darkness, following the UK Millington edition (which is identical to the 1978 Fontana paperback edition). Page numbers in brackets refer to the magazine serialisation of "The Pale Brown Thing". This version has no chapter divisions.

p 5 Entire quotation from De Quincey

p 7, l.7-14 (p 6) The waxing...Mount Diablo.
l.19-24 An observer below...for months.

p 9, l.6-24 (p 7) The TV tower...another matter.

pp 9/10, l.24-28/1-7 Faint dismal...to their jobs.

p 11, l.13-34 (p 8) [There is a more elaborate description of the Sutro Tower]

p 14, l.4-6 (p 9) A sudden...freakish gust.
l.20-29 (p 10) [No mention of Weird Underground.]
l.30-34 But this...a trifle,

p 15, l.3ff [Considerably expanded]

pp 15/16, l.5-27/1-8 In the hall...knocked at 407.

pp 16/17, l.23-35/1-25 I came down...The Flute.

p 17/18, l.26-35/1-6 Franz told Cal...down easily

p 19, l.30-31 (p 11) What sort...he do?

pp 19/20, l.32-36/1-2 There's absolutely...Egypt.

p 21, l.1-2 (p 12) [No mention of de Camp and Squires]

p 23, l.10-15 (p 14) But as...ahead!

pp 23/27 [Chapter Four added]

p 29, l.18-20 (p 15) and humorously...those jinn.

p 30, l.34-35 (p 16) Beyond...breathing.

p 33, l.6-9 (p 17) from the faintly...beyond them.
l.17-21 He chucklingly...tourists.

p 34, l.16-17 (p 18) [No mention of Weird Underground.]

p 35, l-17-20 (p 19) Grace Cathedral...Cathedral Hill.

p 37, l.28-31 (p 20) But what...more sense.

p 38, l.18 Really, he couldn't get home too soon.
l.19-20 (p 21) The far side...central city.

p 39, l.1-6 He thought...things alone.
l.19-22 The neighbourhood...his pocket.

pp 40/41, l.31-35/1-2 (p 22) Had he thrown...helpful scavenger.
l.20-23 Remembering this...their words.

pp 41/42 (p 23) [He was a tall man, ashen blonde, a fine-down amiable viking.] [Deleted in Our Lady of Darkness.]

pp 45/46, l.36/1-4 (p 25) Saul's eyes...Mrs Luque.
l.16-17 The nearest...the Potrero.

pp 46/47, l.24-28/1-2 and at Twin Peaks...laughter.

p 48, l.9 (p.26) and the name...had one.
l.17-32 Gun and Saul...their orders.

p 49, l.17-18 (p 27) They are both...have power.
    l.20-21 Music?...learn that.
    l.24 [No mention of Weird Underground.]
    l.25 Bonita protested, No!
    l.26 ...and the more serious junk,

pp 49/50, l.35-36/1-5 Saul said...Her mother

pp 51/66 1.7-end p 65/l.1-2 (p 28) Bela Szlawik/Fernando...rating

p 66, l.6-13 From time...come early.

p 67, l.17 (p 29) The green dwarf and the spider.
l.18-25 Passing a shaft...dead asleep
l.27-36 For San Francisco...Aldebaran.

p 70, l.13-17 (p 30) Franz picked up...journal.

p 72, l.6-7 (p 31) that twentieth-century puritanic Poe from Providence,
l.11-13 (And hadn't Lovecraft...by correspondence.

p 74, l.19-27 (p 33) Mostly not...steaming coffee.

p 75, 1.10-14 Oscar Wilde's ... their titles

pp 75/76, l.26-end/1-3 (p 34) Scanning...drug-widened awareness.

p 77, l.14-17 But White...Robert Ingersoll!

p 78, l.11-22 (p 35) It was she...unexpected sides.
l.30-34 You know...was wondering.

p 80, l.13-20 (p 36) with a symphony...paper snow.

p 81, l.28-32 (p 37) the latter...elder brother.

p 82, l.19-23 though that last...hotels too.

pp 82/83, l.35-36/1-2 Then he tramped...believing that.

p 83, l.12-14 (p 38) thinking somewhat...compulsive life!

p 85, l.24-27 (p 39) and then stroll...suggested.

p 86, l.3-4 who was kneading...blonde hair.
l.10-12 Nothing at all...charming.
l.25-27 (p 40) And there...as lingam.

p 87, l.8-13 He perversely...for that matter.
    l.21-23 making itself...smog over it.
    l.24 and north in Marin County
    l.27-33 He found himself...of the Bay.

p 88, l.8-12 (p 41) It was funny...mind did.
l.16-19 And the pale blue...punch-card.
l.25-31 Why, he'd been...gilded cross.

p 92, l.15-21 (p 43) Approaching Beaver Street...the city.
l.28-30 Cal had said...gold trim.

p 94, l.10-12 (p 44) Or something...some novelty?
l.15-21 And he turned...now behind him.
l.24-29 (p 45) Franz recalled...with him.

p 97, l.9-11 (p 46) This pear wine...sun-kissed slopes.

p 98, l.30-36 (p 47) I went...and yesterday .

p 99, l.1-8 But even...Donaldus so!

p 100, l.5 (p 48) ...and Cal.
l.14-19 It helped too...filigree on it

p 101, l.7-12 Which is odd...never sure.

pp 103/104, l.18-36/1-11 (p 50) Rapidly travelling...upon the scene.

p 104, l.28-36/p 105/p 106, l.1-4 Mention of Lovecraft...culture and art.

p 107, l.8-end/p 108/p 109/p 110, l.1 (p 51) Of course...Donaldus continued,
l.16-21 you know...Gabriel Jogand...

p 111, l.9-12 Unfortunately...very obvious.

p 112, l.5-11 (p 52) Say, Franz...But I digress.
l.33-36/p 113, 1.1-16 Big buildings ... father, perhaps? p 113, 1.31-36/p 114/p 115, l.1-25 (p 53) Though there is... atmosphere at least.

p 116, l.12-23 Jack London...at a distance.

p 117, l.1-10 Byers' eyebrows...At any rate,

p 118, l.1-8 (p 54) And there's...Tigress after them.
    l.14-23 Ricker...got cold feet.
    l.24-36/p 119, l.1-4 Franz interposed...he insisted.
    l.15-16 She died...very tragic.

p 121, l.12-15 (p 55) And now...picture him as a

p 125, l.22 TdC [End of Pt.1 of serialization]

p 128, l.33-35 (p 117) And it makes...foreign ones.

p 131, l.18-27 (p 119) Just the four...to his story.

p 134, l.23-33 (p 120) Also, he went...Corona Heights!

p 136, l.1-2 (p 121) or to the Queen...outside.

pp 141/142, l.30-36/1-2 (p 126) So many of...on him. And

p 146, l.26 (p 129) judging from here.

pp 146/147, l.34-36/1-10 One young couple...by greybeards. p 147, l.16-25 And then...the concert hall,

p 150, l.20-22 (p 131) It was important...but didn't

p 151, l.15-17 A half-dozen...another Lady.

p 152, l.26-28 (p 132) He noted...that either.

p 157, l.10-12 (p 136) Franz found himself...fine tremor.

p 160, l.12-13 (p 138) Spider...groaning commands.

p 161, l.23-30 (p 139) What else had...Veiled Lady?

p 167, l.28-31 (p 143) [Questions made into statements.]

p 168, l.9-11 Then he pointed...en muralla [deleting part of “The Pale Brown Thing” paragraph.]
l.23-25 as if headed...boxer would.

p 169, l.12 (p 144) Weird Underground -- it was ironic.

p 172, l.24-34 (p 146) And speaking...and pall me.

p 175, l.3-5 (p 148) Perhaps it would...against magic.

p 176, l.15-16 (p 149) But perhaps...for the next

p 179, l.5-6 (p 150) All her movements...and beautiful.

p 181, l.7-13 (p 152) He realized that...Our Lady of Darkness.
l.18-22 He thought in...Corona Heights.

p 186, l.19-25 (p 155) Gun kept some...affair.)

pp 187/188, l.34-36/1-5 (p 156) Gunnar's Ingrid...a grimmer period:
l.20-23 The Hound of the Baskervilles...into that.

pp 188/189, l.34-36/1 The pillar flew...inches deep.

p 189, l.10-29 (p 157) Once, in a...he lit a cigarette.

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